Wednesday 26 May 2010

Happy Endings for Children and Adults

Should children be shocked into reality? I like happy endings. I read books and watch films that will give me that feel-good smile at the end, and I certainly hope to find that in children's films and books. However, I've seen quite a few films lately where one of the characters dies and it doesn't add anything to the story. It merely catches the older audience by surprise, who then fights to hide the tears before the puzzled younger audience starts asking what has happened and why is everyone crying.

I grew up reading and listening to fairy tales and books where all endings were happy. Maybe this has influenced in my optimistic approach to life or maybe optimism is just part of each person's nature. But all these happy endings and the belief in one's own happy ending hasn't prevented me from facing harsh realities when they've hit me in the face. In fact, it's probably helped me to overcome them.

I don't write children's books so I'm unaware if children's authors are required to know some basics on education or psychology, but I imagine they have to bear in mind the impact their stories can have on a child. I understand the need to make children aware of social issues, but is it really that awful to keep them in a bubble of fantasy during the time they read a book or watch a film? Will these realist portraits of life and social issues bring up new generations with a highly developed social conscience and mentally prepared for death?

15 comments:

  1. Sarah, I recently came across a children's book where the main character dies. It's a book called "Mog" and it's about a cat. My eldest son has a few of these and they're brilliant, then suddenly I stumble across this one called "Goodbye Mog" and I know instantly what's going to happen and I almost start crying myself, even my husband was shocked. Now, I know why the author did it, but even so, once I've read this book to my son, how can I possibly read the others, surely I'll be plagued with questions like "but isn't Mog dead?" I don't know. He's only 4 so he doesn't really understand what it means for people/animals to die, but trying to explain is exhausting for me, and confusing for him.

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  2. Ah, yes, I've heard about Mog's fate, so I don't think I'll read it. The author must've had good reasons to bump her off!

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  3. Part of me wonders if letting children only read books with happy endings will cushion them unnecessarily, and that maybe we should be teaching them: look, people die, and you have to learn how to deal with it.

    Ad then a bigger part of me remembers how traumatised I was by Watership Down and how I still can't watch it all and I think: hmm, not sure that's healthy!

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  4. Cat-Kate (I love it, it sounds like cupcake), I still remember crying my eyes out when the horse died in The Neverending Story, luckily it came back to life at the end. Since then, I can't watch any films with animals in them any more.

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  5. Sarah,

    This is a really good question, but I think for me, it comes down to this. Books teach us about life. In life, there are not always happy endings. By letting kids read really great books with sad ending, we are teaching them compassion and character traits that will stand them in good stead as they grow.

    Katherine Patterson, Natalie Babbit, and a variety of fantasy writers have produced some of the most memorable literature ever created -- and much of it is sad. It is memorable precisely because of the tragedy. Would Romeo and Juliet have been such a good story with a happy ending?

    By letting kids experience a variety of things through literature, we are preparing them for things they will encounter as they grow and helping them become better people.

    IMHO, anyway. Thanks for asking me about this. I'm going to be thinking about it for days, now.

    Cheers,

    Martina

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  6. Oh that dying horse was so sad! I always forget that part when I think of The Neverending Story, because the Nothing and the wolf scared the hell out of me.

    As a child I think dread upset me more than unhappy endings. There's definitely a difference though between stories being upsetting while you're reading (or watching) them and being upsetting at the end.

    Thanks for an interesting post!

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  7. Martina, I find your point of view very interesting, it's given me lots to think about too. I do see what you say about them learning to be compassionate and feel empathy towards other people. It broadens their emotional world and they will probably feel supported if anything happens to them if they know a character they've read has already gone through that experience. They might use it as an example of how to react.

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  8. Thanks Paulo. Yes, the angst you feel as you're reading, all that dread hoping the tragedy will resolve at some point.
    In fact, it is probably those tragic scenes in books which have left their mark, maybe that's when feelings are at their peak.

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  9. Exactly. Going through the death of a character we love is sometimes more painful for a kid than going through the death of someone they know -- because they have gotten into the character's life more closely. That helps them understand tragedy and compassion from a whole new perspective. I often think that this is the problem with video games. Kids are experiencing/inflicting death in video games without having any context for it. Even when death comes into their homes or neighborhoods, they haven't gotten "close enough" to feel it. Maybe if they read some sad stories at an early age, maybe if they read more period, it would be easier to see that all life has value.

    Okay, end soap box. Just a thought.

    Martina

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  10. As a kindergarten teacher, I try to provide a little bit of balance to the happy and sad life has to offer so that my students will be prepared to deal with both. Although I have not found a book about death that I feel comfortable reading to my class yet, (closest I've come to it is The Giving Tree) I am not opposed to it. Each year my students earn a beta fish for a class pet; luckily I've had to find a home to give it to at the end of the year. But if it should die, it's something we would deal with. I would not run out and get a new fish and miss out on an important life lesson.

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  11. I am all about happy endings in my novels, but I don't mind the odd sad ending or two in novels, etc - as long as I don't feel cheated by it. I'm not sure about children's books, though. I don't think there's anything wrong with happy endings but I do think kids might enjoy wallowing in sad endings, too!

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  12. Thanks Melody and Martina, you've made me see the other side too. I do understand the way it can help a child become familiar with certain feelings and see they are normal.
    And I completely agree about the video games, you don't get a chance to "connect" with the character so there isn't any feeling in the actions.
    I started out with firm convictions, but you've both made me think them through again.

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  13. Talli, yes there are adults and children who enjoy wallowing, aren't there? I usually avoid films if I know it will traumatize me. In fact I still haven't watched Life Is Beautiful for that reason. But I've many friends who like shedding tears over a film or book, I think it's a sort of purge for their emotions.

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  14. Yes, happy endings are good. Especially for kids. A good moral lesson can still be taught if all the characters are alive and well.

    And by the way, I fixed my blog. Commenting is possible again. :)

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  15. Me encanta todo lo que me ha hecho pensar y sentir esta entrada! No puedo resumirlo aquí... lo hablamos el domingo, ok??? A mi sí me gustan los libros y las películas con finales tristes o desconcertantes... aunque también me gustan los de final feliz, siempre y cuando éste no sea forzado (como pasa con muchas películas de Hollywood) para que sea feliz aunque no venga a cuento o no haya justificación alguna para ello. No he leído todos los comments pero a mi también se me vino a la mente Romeo y Julieta, o algo más cercano... Como agua para chocolate, Mil soles espléndidos... o el primer libro no escrito para niños que me regaló mi padre con 8 años y que me marcó definitivamente: el diario de Ana Frank. A mi me gusta ser capaz de sentir esa empatía a través de un libro, no sólo por los eventos felices y románticos, sino también por las desgracias ajenas. Te ha comentado algo tu hija sobre el video que vieron esta semana sobre Florence Nightingale? La mía sí... llegó en shock por las escenas de curar heridos en una guerra. Yo le expliqué que era importante que se diera cuenta que esas cosas sucedían y suceden en el mundo, para que aprenda a valorar el trabajo de algunas personas (médicos, enfermeras, por ejemplo) que arriesgan su vida para salvar las de otras en esas circunstancias... y sí, tiene 6 años, pero el mundo no es de color de rosa. Continuará...

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